Today on the light rail, some lady blamed everybody else for her own problems.

So it started off with this old lady asking how to get to ABC 13. How the eff am I supposed to know where the TV station is?? I’ve never needed to go there for any reason.

OldLady: “So how do I get to ABC 13 TV station?”
Me: “I dunno.”
OldLady: “Well that’s just great. I keep getting different directions from everybody..”

At this point, everybody around us is trying to calm the old lady down so she doesn’t pull out her 9mm and blow us all to shreds…that’s how upset she was acting…

BackpackMan pulls up his iPhone to look for directions…

BackpackMan: “Can you see this?”
OldLday: “Look how old I am, you think I can see that tiny screen. All I want to know is where to get off.”

This lady sitting next to me is a true transportation expert…

HelpfulLady: “Well where you tryna go?”
OldLady: “I NEED to get to ABC13! I mean you Houstonians are so nice but don’t know how to get anywhere! I mean I been told Wheeler and something about TMC…this train is SOOOO CONFUSING!!!”
HelpfulLady: “Hol up..you needed to get off at Wheeler and take da bus..I think it maybe number sitty five.”
OldLady: “Well that’s just great, we passed it now!”
BackpackMan: “Just get off at the next stop and go the opposite way.”
OldLady: “Well thank you, sir……………….I shoulda got some asprin before I got on this train. And there’s probably not a store near where I’m going, huh?”
HelpfulLady: “Nope. Not over der.”
OldLady: “I mean I’ll be OK and know what I’m doin when I get to the bus, but this train, I just don’t get it!!!!!!! I would kill for some excedrin right now.”
HelpfulLady: “If I had some I’d help you out.”

We pull up to the Rice/Herman Park stop and she’s moving rather slow to get off the train. Everybody yells at the guy by the door to hold it open. She slowly turns around once on the platform and I hear her yell “THANK YOU” as the door closes.

Poor flustered lady.

Moral of the story: I don’t understand why old people are scared of technology. It’s called Google Maps.

Today on the light rail, I got busted.

I was running to the light rail this morning and didn’t swipe my Q card. The doors were closing to the train, and it was a double so the swiper deal was way far away. :/

Sooooo….a few stops later, the Metro police hop on
PoPo:”Get out your tickets or Q cards!”

Crap. I didn’t swipe mine.

The guy goes through a few people and gets to me. What do I have that nobody else on the train that hasn’t paid has? Clean clothes and a shower. I use this to my advantage to flirt with the cop

Me: (In the sweetest, most calm, girly-voice-that-I-don’t-have possible) “Umm Sorry sir, but I was running to the train this morning and didn’t swipe it. I’m really very sorry.”
PoPo: (with a smile) “Well why were you runnin so fast, missy?”
Me: “Well if I got on the next train, I would’ve missed seeing you.”
He laughs. So do I.
PoPo: (He puts his hand on my shoulder and whispers..) “Do me a favor and remember next time!”

He caresses my shoulder/pats me on the back. What have I done?

Moral of the story: I don’t normally flirt with old dudes….except when I used to work at a bar…

Today on the light rail, I met Mister Rogers.

This little old man sat down next to me a few stops after mine. I was sitting in one of the handicapped seats so it’s no wonder he chose the seat next to me. He looked like an older version of Mister Rogers, if that’s even possible.

MisterRogers: “Thats a nice phone you got there, is it one of them eye screen phones?”
Me: I smile. “No it’s not an iPhone, this is a palm pre.”
MisterRogers: “I seen a commercial bout that one where the lady is walkin and she swipes the thing to the side.”
I’m incredibly impressed with this man’s knowledge of technology..he has to be like 85…
Me: “Yep that’s it.”
He pulls out his phone to show me..it’s a flip phone, just like Matt Johnson uses.
MisterRogers: “My kids gave me this phone. It doesn’t do anything cool, but I get to talk to my grandkids so I guess that’s pretty cool.”
Damn you old man for reminding me I need to call my grandma….
Me: “Yeah that’s pretty neat.”
MisterRogers: “Well this is my stop. I’m going to the museum today. Have a nice day and keep that pretty smile of yours.”

How sweet. An old man made my day. I kind of wanted to get off and go to the museum with him, maybe he’s secretly really smart like Mister Rogers.

Moral of the story: Old people are cute, so you should donate to my blondes vs. brunettes game benefiting Alzheimer’s.

Welcome to the new website, still some bugs I have to work out and pages to complete but I hope you like. Special thanks to Chris for making this design..I recommend him for all of your website designing needs.