Today on the light rail, I met a member of Vince Young’s family.

One of the few good things about my job is I can wear pretty much whatever I want, knowing that half of my clothes will be ruined by acid and/or other reagents. Today, I opted to wear a University of Texas shirt, along with my white linen pants that will probably be ruined by the time I get home.

…………..now that you all know what I am wearing and don’t have to ask like a creeper…………

Back to the topic at hand. I spent my entire weekend celebrating my brother’s graduation from UT. Yes, I come from a family of 4 kids who have now officially all received a degree from THE University of Texas. So I naturally woke up this morning feeling that Longhorn pride. I was being pretty lazy on my walk to the light rail and for once didn’t run to catch the train, thus I was the first person at the platform for the next train.

I’m sitting down when a homeless man approaches me.
Man: “You a longhorn?”
No, I just like wearing a color that doesn’t match with anything except white or brown.
Me: “yup.”
Man: “You go to skool der?”
Me: “Yup.”
Man: “When you be der?”
Me: “2004-2008.”
Man: “Man you was der when VY was der. Dats my cousin.”

Let’s take a break to examine this conversation. How many cousins does Vince Young ACTUALLY have? I feel like he has multiple friends on Facebook that write on his wall using the word “cousin”. Or, multiple people I encountered in Austin would tell me that Vince Young was their “cousin”. Is this a term of endearment or does Vince really come from that big of a family?

Me: “Cool.”
Train arrives and we both step on…
AnotherMan (throws up the hook ‘em horns sign): “Hook ‘Em!!”
Man: “Yeah thas what I’m talkin bout. You go to football games?”
I quickly ignored this man once the train arrived so I didn’t realize he was talking to me…
Man: “What..now you be ignorin me?”
Me: “Oh didn’t know you were talking to me. Yes I did/do sometimes.”
Man: “I always wanted to go. How much do tickets cost?”
Me: “I dunno like $90 or something. I had season tickets through my brother.”
Man: “DAYYYYYUUUMMMM. That sh^t be esspensivveeee.”
I turn my attention to the homeless man that gets on at the next stop. His buddies tell him he better swipe his card, so he rushes off the train and the doors close.
HomelessMan’sBuddy: “Dat boy gunna miss him some grits!!!!!”
Man: “MAN I love dem grits down there too!”

So my longhorn pal and another homeless man babble over the breakfast food at the approaching soup kitchen. I can’t help but notice both of these men are carrying cell phones.

Moral of the story: Longhorn or not, why can’t you just order a pizza with your cell phone instead of going to the soup kitchen?