Dear Overweight individuals,

First of all, I’d like to say I first wrote “morbidly obese folks” as the greeting to this here letter, but I figured I would for once appear to be politically correct. I do realize some of you may be medically incapabale of being at the normal weight for your height and I should not pass judgement, however I will still do so because I probably have some psychological issue since my biggest fear in life second to dying is getting really fat.

Now, on to my reason for writing you gorditas. As you probably know from your excessive sweating, it is incredibly hot in Houston today. I live a mere few blocks from the rail and felt the urge to reapply deoderant upon arriving to the platform but I figured if I smelled that bad, somebody would probably just blog about me. Either way, it was H-O-T HOT. As you probably imagine, on a hot day, the train that stops every couple of minutes will not remain chilled, even with the A/C on full blast. And as you can probably feel my pain, standing while being hot is only fun when you’re in a mascot suit at a UT football game on the first weekend in September. Therefore, my goal once boarding the light rail was to find a seat.

Oh look there’s one…..

wait…that man is taking up two spots…

and so is that man…

and so is that woman….

I’ll leave my criticism for the layout of the platforms and light rail for another day, but I’d like to make a point to say I highly doubt any of you paid for two seats on the train this morning. So I stayed standing because I’m really not as lazy as I appear in this letter. You just have to understand, some mornings are meant for standing, and mornings like today are meant for sitting.

So, chubbies, I wish I could provide picture proof for you of all of your buddies on the rail, but the palm pre sucks and my camera on my newest phone will not work. You will just have to take my word for it that six seats were occupied by 3 of your fellow Omega Mu sorority sisters. So as it has happened in the place, don’t you EVER complain at me when my bag and I are shoved up against the side of the train and one of your cheeks is hanging off the edge.

If you’re overweight…like REALLY overweight…like you have to buy two plane seats on Continental now because your side butt hangs out into the aisle, do us all a favor and just walk to your final destination. The pounds will come off quicker that way.

Thanks,

KSo
<(^and no, that was not supposed to make you think of mexican food)

Moral of the story: Houston, we have a weight problem.