Today on the light rail, I met a teen mom.

Before I begin and give you a chance to criticize, I will let you know I don’t have an issue with unplanned pregnancies. I would much rather a baby be born than not. I have a friend with the cutest son in the entire world from an “unplanned” pregnancy, however she was a college graduate.

I always encounter pregnant women on their way to visit their doctors in the med center. Now, I’ve never been pregnant and don’t plan to be for many many years. A coworker at my first post-college job was pregnant right after I began working so I had the opportunity to see her go through the whole process. It was definately a mind blowing experience for me. So nowadays, I have an appreciation for those women that look like they’re about to pop.

But today…now this was just a funny experience. A pregnant girl that looks about 17, wearing short cut off jean shorts sits down in front of me and her friend (long lost, it seemed) sits down next to her.
TeenMom: “Man dis one hurts more dan da first.”
Friend: “you’re having another boy, right?”
TeenMom: “Yeah. Iono why dis baby be movin so much. I can’t eat nutin without tastin it fo days.”
Friend: “Gross. Did you finish your GED yet?”
TeenMom: “Naw Angelo be keepin me busy at home.”
Friend: “Are you at your parents house?”
TeenMom: “My mom said I ain’t livin there even do every time I get there I get on the computer and open the fridge and stuff. she said it aint my home. I be livin in an apartment on tha norf side.”
Friend: “With your boyfriend?”
TeenMom: “I aint got no boyfriend. I live wit my homegirl. My aunt watches angelo when I gotsa come down here to da doctor.”
Friend: “What about Angelo and dis baby’s father?”
TeenMom: “Angelo’s daddy done did me wrong. I can’t find dis baby’s father. My family be helpin out do. My sisters got three kids so she know what to do. What bout chu? You in college?”
Friend: “I took this semester off to save up some money.”
TeenMom: “One a dese days Imma go to HCC after I get my GRE. But imma find me a man so I don’t need no school.”
Her friend laughs. I giggle too. They stare at me. Thankfully, it’s my stop. And thankfully, I’m wearing sunglasses again these days.

Moral of the story: Don’t ever have sex or you will get pregnant and die.

(for the n00bs, that’s a movie quote)

p.s. Must suck to be a cowgirl fan…

Today on the light rail, I saw a baby.

By himself.

Yep. Sure it wasn’t in a closet or at a Coffee Bean, but hey this goes to show finding a baby can happen to just about anybody.

Technically, I suppose said baby’s parents were the couple in the row behind the baby who were nailing each other. Believe me, I attempted to photograph both of these, but I was in the inside row and the man beside me was what you may refer to as morbidly obese.

So here this baby is…just chillin…by himself in his little car seat…parents behind him groping each other. Every now and then the Mom would reach in front and rock the car seat, you know to look like a good parent.

What is wrong with this picture? Let’s begin.
1. Uhh hello moving train…no seatbelts??
2. Not to mention the bottle your baby is holding is not working and the kid is having issues getting his milk out
3. Neglect, much?
4. Don’t worry, the diaper bag is cushioning your baby from falling.
5. Didn’t I mention a few posts back about how much I hate PDA?

Moral of the story: If you don’t want your little half mexican/half black baby, give it to somebody like Sandra or Angelina to add to their collection of saving babies people don’t want and turning them into money making machines. Seriously.

Today on the light rail, I was called a baby, a term I have heard more often than not lately.

I couldn’t do my morning tweeting or texting because I lost my phone on Friday night (stupid dancefloor and/or bathroom at ei8ht).  I have my old phone, but the keyboard is broken so I have to text the old school way and it takes too long.  So this morning on the light rail, I had no choice but to stand there and do nothing.  And that is what I did…..until homeboy started talking to me.

Homeboy: “You headin to school?”
Me: “No..work…”
Homeboy: “Say what? where you work..you don’t go to HCC..I thought I seen you get off at that stop…”
Me: “No sir, I work in the med center.”
Homeboy: “Say lil mama how old you be?”
Me: “23….”
Homeboy: “Man you’s young!”
Me: “But I’ll be 24 in 15 days!”
Homeboy: “You is a baby, girl! I actually thought you was like 19 or so…but still…23…man…I’m old.”
Me: “…..how old are you?”
Homeboy: “29 going on 29.”
clearly this wasn’t his real age…I’m guessing early 30s…
Me: “Oh”
Homeboy: “You work in the med center and you only 23? Damn you mus be smart…you go to college?”
Me: “I graduated from UT in 2008.”
Homeboy: “Damn girl. I’d holla atchu but you too smart for me. You prolly all philisophical on me an stuff.  And you’s a baby.”

I smiled.

This is probably the 5th time in one week that I’ve been called a “baby”.  Evidently when you hang out with ladies and gents pushing 30, you’re considered a baby at the age of 23. 

It makes me want to find a machine to wish on so I can turn into Tom Hanks.

Moral of the story: But I’m almost 24………..