Lightrail Top Chef
Today on the light rail, I met the next up and coming chef.
It was a rather strange morning on the light rail, probably because I lost my Q card and had to pay cash for a ticket (which I think it RIDICULOUS since money comes out of my paycheck for this..but I wanted to be honest today). Either way, I was sitting by a snoozin’ man so I figured it would be a boring, miserable ride.
Oh boy, was I wrong.
ChefBoyardee: “You want summa dis?”
This man was sitting behind me so I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me. I turned around to find out he was holding a pastry in some foil and asking the man in the row next to me.
OtherDude: “Naw man das OK.”
ChefBoyardee: “How boutchu?”
Me: “I’m ok. Thank you, though.”
Although it DID look declious, my mom would have a fit if I took food from a stranger.
Chefboyardee: “C’mon jus try it! I’m in da cooking school down der and need ya opinion.”
Me: “I already ate breakfast.”
OtherDude: “Naw man I would but I’m a diabetic and dat be puttin me in diabetic shock right der.”
The pastry was some lemon filled concotion with powdered sugar alll over it. In other words, something I wanted really bad but had to decline.
Chefboyardee: (as he shoves a bite in his mouth) “Is a lemon-filled pastry. Is really good. I jus need one you folks to try it.”
I smile.
OtherDude: “Man believe I would. Dis pretty young lady right here should. I just dont got no insulin wit me. My count be normal dis mornin so I don’t wanna mess dat up. yaknowwhatimsayin?”
Chefboyardee: “I feel ya. I’m just tryna get my skills down. wanna see whatchu folks like. Maybe next time.”
He looks back at me.
Chefboyaredee: “What if I told you aint no calories in here wouldya eat it?”
Me: I laugh. “I’m just not hungry. Thanks for the offer.”
Chefboyardee: “Imma bring you sumpin next time. Imma make you try it too!”
But the truth is, I’m always hungry. And I would kill for that pastry…if it was in a store.
Moral of the story: At what age is it OK to take candy from strangers?
Not to get but too technical but Hector Boyardee never dabbled in pastries. His effectiveness is found primarily in his O’s of spaghetti. However, it is likely that his presence on the tin cans of $0.79 ravioli probably inspired this fine apprentice that you met. After all, the beef-a-roni and ravioloi donations to the food pantry are pretty numerous when people actually open up a can of that putrid shit and realize Hector must have had Parkinson’s as he mixed the ingredients.
Hah, great story! At some point his persistence and the temptation would have made me give in fo shizzle. great willpower