How to stand on the light rail
Today on the light rail, I noticed there were less seats available. But not only were there less seats AVAILABLE, but less seats existed.
Yes, metro has REMOVED seats on the train. Who in their right mind would REMOVE seats from an overcrowded train?? Metro would, of course, and only for this new Bike initiative.
I’m all about going green and riding bikes, but the fact of the matter is Houston will probably never be a “bike friendly” city as much as you try. Houston needs to accept the fact it’s the ugly step sister to Austin.
Now, this was a non issue in the morning, but today’s ride home I was forced to stand in the area with the hanging handles. The ones that are new, fresh, and grey but by next week will be covered with homeless filth and everyday people sweat, giving it a brown color- much like the water in galveston. The most annoying part about standing here was the constant pushing and people falling everywhere. I’m not the only person who finds this change a little obnoxious. Homeboy in the puka shell necklace ranted about how ridiculous the new layout is the entire way from the med center to my apartment.
Hey, 6th grade called and they want their necklace back, dude.
But the fact of the matter is, people do not know how to stand on a train. Remember my post about htown fatties?? Exactly. I, fortunately, have been formally trained in public transit standing by my sister on the New York City Subway- the mecca of public transportation, if you will. Since Metro wants to create more standing room, here are the rules for standing that I learned from my many trips to NYC:
1. Do NOT touch anything. Not even a handrail. Unless you’re wearing a jacket and stick your hand inside it and hold. Or if you don’t read these rules, then you should probably hold on because you’ll fall over.
2. Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart with one foot slightly in front of the other.
3. Face a door rather than the front of the train. It’s easier to catch yourself from falling by bending one of your knees rather than using your toes to catch you.
4. If you’re lucky, you can lean against one of the railings and not have to worry about this so much.
5. Focus on your center of mass and keeping that strong to prevent you from falling over. If you don’t know where your center of mass is located, you’re probably already sitting at this point.
6. If you do happen to fall and push somebody, you’re still supposed to say “I’m sorry”, even though it was not your fault.
7. Note that in a crowded train with lots of people standing, somebody will naturally touch you where you don’t want to be touched.
8. Don’t text and stand. I am the exception to this rule.
9. A VESPA is NOT considered a bicycle. Good job, Metro.
^thanks to @kylejack for the picture
Moral of the story: Perhaps having more double trains would’ve solved this problem too…..
Thanks for the laugh, Katie. I needed that on this Monday.
Katie,
I’m sorry to hear that progressive urban planning is unacceptable to you. The fact of the matter is that there are many bikes on the metro and some design changes to accept them is a really smart idea. Not to mention that Metro ridership is increasing, therefor arguing for less seats in general. For the most part what really bothers me is your small minded-suburban attitude about filth and disease…if you can’t handle being the public world, stay at home in your aseptic house. The fact is there are more germs on your cell-phone than on the average subway handrail, or toilet. Personally, I’d be a happier commuter if urban-tourists like yourself took up less space in one of Houston’s best civic assets. And clearly, you’ve spent very little time in New York.
Must suck to have been brainwashed by the Northeast and no longer have a sense of humor. I appreciate your comment and your opinions but to be honest with you, you have no idea WHO I am. Everything on this blog is meant to be sarcastic and/or humorous. A) I don’t have a problem with urban planning…if anything, I approve of it. B) ummmmm…did you not understand that the whole blog post of me complaining about the lack of seats was complete and utter sarcasm? I really could care less, somebody has to poke fun at Metro. C) I don’t live in a House. 4) I’m not an “urban tourist”…I take this to work…it’s the only way I can get to work…and I don’t mind that.
Maybe you should take up less space on the light rail and get a sense of humor.
Have a great day Katie. Don’t let any comments ruin your day.
I live in Houston. I am from Houston. I ride Metro.
Your blog post was not funny and was not “sarcastic.” You might not want to say or comment on issues that make you sound ignorant and bigoted if you are trying to obtain readership or entertain an internet audience. I want to let you know that your post and then your later comment were quite transparent. For instance, your phrase “homeless filth” …? I don’t see how that use could be interpreted as your having a sense of humor.
Holy crap Katie you nailed it! I’ve worked in NYC for years and this was hysterical to read. Just one more tip – bend at the knees slightly. It helps when the train starts and stops. Great read! I think the follow up should be cab etiquette.
And that guy who commented before is either a local politician or a douche. Either way, I am absolutely certain he is not getting laid, hence the anger.