Today on the light rail, I was victim to my own wrong doings.

I took the light rail 4 times today since I was lucky enough to go to the Texans vs. Bucs game. The game was pretty forgettable (no I wasn’t drinking), but the light rail creeper on the way was not. It was probably my own fault because I was wearing a low cut shirt, much like Amy’s twitter picture. Homeboy took out his cell phone, failed to turn on the sound AND the flash and took a picture of my cleavage.
w
t
f

Vic even got to witness this craziness on the light rail, so now he can vouch for my ridiculous stories.

Moral of the story: I hope that man doesn’t have a blog titled “Boobs on the light rail”

Dear friends, please do me a favor and vote option B for the metro rail to have double trains @ 9 min frequencies, even if you don’t ride the train. You can vote here.

I’ve been a little MIA lately, my bad. Sometimes you just have to take a break from writing to refuel your creative tank.

Today on the light rail, I saw people carrying some pretty ridiculous “stuff”.

This happens pretty often and it just makes me laugh when I see certain items. I’m pretty personal with the way I carry belongings, and I keep everything in my bag on my lap, with the exception of my phone. This will be a new installment to the light rail blog with a few pictures here and there. The camera on my phone will work again one of these days.

Take a gander at what caught my eye…

I'm not even kidding you...This chick had christmas M&Ms..they aren't out yet, are they??

The lady didn't even have them in a shopping bag.

Need I say more?

Moral of the story: Sometimes, some things should NOT be out in the open.

Today on the light rail, I met the next up and coming chef.

It was a rather strange morning on the light rail, probably because I lost my Q card and had to pay cash for a ticket (which I think it RIDICULOUS since money comes out of my paycheck for this..but I wanted to be honest today). Either way, I was sitting by a snoozin’ man so I figured it would be a boring, miserable ride.

Oh boy, was I wrong.

ChefBoyardee: “You want summa dis?”
This man was sitting behind me so I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me. I turned around to find out he was holding a pastry in some foil and asking the man in the row next to me.
OtherDude: “Naw man das OK.”
ChefBoyardee: “How boutchu?”
Me: “I’m ok. Thank you, though.”
Although it DID look declious, my mom would have a fit if I took food from a stranger.
Chefboyardee: “C’mon jus try it! I’m in da cooking school down der and need ya opinion.”
Me: “I already ate breakfast.”
OtherDude: “Naw man I would but I’m a diabetic and dat be puttin me in diabetic shock right der.”
The pastry was some lemon filled concotion with powdered sugar alll over it. In other words, something I wanted really bad but had to decline.
Chefboyardee: (as he shoves a bite in his mouth) “Is a lemon-filled pastry. Is really good. I jus need one you folks to try it.”
I smile.
OtherDude: “Man believe I would. Dis pretty young lady right here should. I just dont got no insulin wit me. My count be normal dis mornin so I don’t wanna mess dat up. yaknowwhatimsayin?”
Chefboyardee: “I feel ya. I’m just tryna get my skills down. wanna see whatchu folks like. Maybe next time.”
He looks back at me.
Chefboyaredee: “What if I told you aint no calories in here wouldya eat it?”
Me: I laugh. “I’m just not hungry. Thanks for the offer.”
Chefboyardee: “Imma bring you sumpin next time. Imma make you try it too!”

But the truth is, I’m always hungry. And I would kill for that pastry…if it was in a store.

Moral of the story: At what age is it OK to take candy from strangers?

Today on the light rail, I noticed there were less seats available. But not only were there less seats AVAILABLE, but less seats existed.

Yes, metro has REMOVED seats on the train. Who in their right mind would REMOVE seats from an overcrowded train?? Metro would, of course, and only for this new Bike initiative.

I’m all about going green and riding bikes, but the fact of the matter is Houston will probably never be a “bike friendly” city as much as you try. Houston needs to accept the fact it’s the ugly step sister to Austin.

Now, this was a non issue in the morning, but today’s ride home I was forced to stand in the area with the hanging handles. The ones that are new, fresh, and grey but by next week will be covered with homeless filth and everyday people sweat, giving it a brown color- much like the water in galveston. The most annoying part about standing here was the constant pushing and people falling everywhere. I’m not the only person who finds this change a little obnoxious. Homeboy in the puka shell necklace ranted about how ridiculous the new layout is the entire way from the med center to my apartment.

Hey, 6th grade called and they want their necklace back, dude.

But the fact of the matter is, people do not know how to stand on a train. Remember my post about htown fatties?? Exactly. I, fortunately, have been formally trained in public transit standing by my sister on the New York City Subway- the mecca of public transportation, if you will. Since Metro wants to create more standing room, here are the rules for standing that I learned from my many trips to NYC:

1. Do NOT touch anything. Not even a handrail. Unless you’re wearing a jacket and stick your hand inside it and hold. Or if you don’t read these rules, then you should probably hold on because you’ll fall over.

8. Don’t text and stand. I am the exception to this rule.

9. A VESPA is NOT considered a bicycle. Good job, Metro.


^thanks to @kylejack for the picture

Moral of the story: Perhaps having more double trains would’ve solved this problem too…..

Today on the light rail, I was NOT a cry baby.

I don’t know HOW it happened, but while I was sitting on the light rail, I felt something sharp and prickly in my shoe. The next thing I know it stuck me and hurt like hell. I screamed “OW!” only to find this barely-speaks-English Asian man turn to stare at me. I take off my shoe. YES, I took off my shoe ON the light rail. I found what appeared to be a splinter in my toe and thought “wtf, I’m not wearing wooden clogs.” I continued saying ow. In fact, I continued to be in pain much like this:

Finally, the asian man asked me “Are roo O-K?” in his broken english. I said yes, as tears started forming in my eyes. Luckily, the splinter was not very deep and luckily, I don’t have ugly feet so being barefoot on the train was not as uncomfortable as you would imagine. I pull the splinter out with another loud “Ow.”

The man sitting behind me leaned in real close and said “awww do you have a booboo??”
Me: “kind of.”
NotFunnyMan: “Awww so you need your mommy to fix it?”
So I know I probably look like a child today with my holey jeans, simple tshirt, and hair in a ponytail, but come on man, I have my work ID tag on..I can’t look that helpless.
NotFunnyMan hands me a tissue and says, “To wipe those tears up.”

I ignore him, put my shoe back on and move to stand by the door for the next few stops. He keeps giggling at me with his friend.

Moral of the story: I wasn’t crying.